I ‘ve been teasing my friends with the semi-serious promise that I’m going to “die alone”, a promise which has been met with everything from “You’re just saying that,” to “things will get better,” to “Yeah girl!”
Mostly, predominantly, I mean it as a vow to myself not to sacrifice my own goals and ambitions for any handsome young bloke who walks through my field of vision; I feel I’ve worked too hard for too long to suddenly become winsome for a bouquet of flowers (though I do love flowers…)
It’s also an idiosyncratic way of reminding myself not to regard my position or circumstance in life as temporary or lesser. Yes, I know this sounds like queer/feminist basic training, but the front lines are hard, especially when marriages amongst your peers is rising (sigh!).
My point is not to bemoan my current romantic status; to the contrary, I’m fascinated by the changing social landscape. Today’s Guardian Online features an article by Kate Bolick on the contemporary state of marriage.
The best thing I take out of the two posted media is that people, collectively, seem to be forming an idea of how marriage works for them, or doesn’t. What I object to is that there still remains a flavour of stigma over the woman or man who choses not to engage. Thoughts, post-luddites? Is this conversation even relevant anymore?